16 TONS OF MONKEYS
(Tonio K./Steve Schiff)

i've been working in a coal mine
on top of the world
i've been watching the horizon
i've been watching all the girls
i'm a girl watcher
i've been countin' on a miracle
i've been carryin' a gun
i've been slipping into darkness
in the noon day sun
and it's a hard lesson

i've got 16 tons of questions for the teacher
i've got 16 tons of monkeys on my back
i've got 16 tons of doubt about the future
it's a wonder that i've managed to survive the silent wreckage of my past

i've been laughin' on the inside
i've been living with the pain
i've been working with the system
i've been waiting in the rain
i'm a born swimmer
i've been lookin' for an answer
i've been lookin' for the love
i've been standing in the quicksand
sinking down but standing up
i need a life saver

i've got 16 tons of questions for the teacher
i've got 16 tons of monkeys on my back
i've got 16 tons of doubt about the future
it's a wonder that i've managed to survive the silent wreckage of my past

you take the little baby
and fill it up with fear
and a blinding insecurity
then sell him cigarettes and beer
he's a consumer
then you shovel in the nonsense
shovel on the lies
guns and information
drugs and bad advice
meet your new neighbor

he's got 16 tons of questions for the teacher...

pub. N.Y.M./Pressman/Cherry Music (ASCAP), admin. by Warner Bros./ Property Situation Music (BMI), admin. by Warner Bros.

I KNOW A PLACE
(Tonio K./ John Keller)

only the strong survive
that's what the papers say
sometimes it seems like it's true
ain't nothing fair in life
that's just the way it goes
but the strong in spirit make it through

i know a place
in a quiet corner of the heart
i know a place we can go
i know the way
i can tell you, but i can't take you there
you've got to find this place alone

we all start off this life
totally innocent
it's only love that we need
sometimes we cry for it
some people die for it
in the world live is never free

but i know a place
where we're all who we were meant to be
where the spirit speaks to the soul
i know the way to this place
i can tell you, but i can't take you there
you've got to get there on your own

you may think heaven lies beyond the stars
but if you look you'll find
that heaven begins in your heart

i know a place
where there's peace beyond our understanding
i know a place we can go
beyond the gates to tears and time
in a corner of your heart of hearts
you've got to get there on your own

i know a place
in a quiet corner of the heart
i know a place we can go
i know the way
i can tell you, but i can't take you there
you've got to find this place alone
you've got to get there on your own

pub. N.Y.M./Cherry Music (ASCAP), admin. by Warner Bros., Warner-Tamerlane Publishing Corp./Cherry Blossom Music / Checkerman Music (BMI)

CONVERSATIONS/EXPERIMENTS IN WESTERN COURTSHIP:
INDIANS & ALIENS SPEAK OUT
(aka INDIANS & ALIENS)
(Tonio K./Peter Case)

an old indian walked in
off the great colorado desert
he had a question
he said:

who are these people?
what is this place?
is this the greatest experiment in social equality
in the history of the whole human rat race
or is it some kind of joke?

she was a raven-haired beauty
she was a text book blonde
she had long brown hair
she had her tina turner fright wig on
he was a wheeler-dealer
a small town con
no one ever knew for sure
what it was that he was on

johnny otis was the preacher

they met on a runway
on the outskirts of nowhere
their plane was so late
so they stared at the moon
and they thought about flying
then he told her a story
so sad they both cried

who are these people?
what is this place?
maybe the answer's
somewhere out there in space
what are they doing?
what is the deal?
could this be fiction?
could this be real?

they had a secret wedding
on the neighbor's lawn
with a cast of thousands
it went on and on and on 'till dawn
when a point of light
way up in the sky
got bigger and brighter
till the people had to shade their eyes

it was the largest space craft
they had ever seen
it was way off course
and the crew was tired and feelin' mean
and when the steel door opened
the crowd all froze
the alien spoke
he said what we want to know is this:

who are these people?
what is this place?
we've got no idea
we just blew in from outer space
is this your princess
is that your king?
who are you people?
let me tell you what we think:
there is a rumor circling deep space
about a planet,
about a race
of whackos and losers
weasels and jerks
they say this planet was once called the earth

i think we've found it

pub. N.Y.M./Unicity Music (ASCAP), admin. by MCA / Trumpet Blast Music (BMI)

MURDER MY HEART
(Tonio K./John Keller)

it was a rainy night, another cinematic horror story
seemed like black and white, even though this was no video
it was real alright; i could feel the cold wind overcome me
as i tried to get out of that house without losing my soul
and the lightning flashed (even though there wasn't no lightning)
and thunder crashed in my head, causing me to see stars
on the night someone i used to love tried to murder my heart
on the night someone i used to love tried to murder my heart

well i put up a fight, tried to conquer her anger with logic
yes, i put up a fight, tried to cover the hatred with hope
went around all night, with the shadow of my fallen angel
who before my eyes had become someone i didn't know
i don't know, maybe i accidentally said something that hurt her
or the devil himself stirred her up with a fiery dart
on the night someone i used to love tried to murder my heart

well i like to go back, but i can't until somebody changes
'till she learns to be kind, or i learn to enjoy being cruel
yes, i'd like to go back for the good girl i still can remember
but that woman that tried to destroy me will just never do
i've heard people can actually change if they really want to
if you want to be healed, you say "yes" and the process can start
i won't settle for less, i won't let no one murder my heart
i won't settle for less, i don't let no one mess with my heart
honey, nobody gets to treat me like you did on the night someone i used to love tried to murder my heart
tried to murder my heart
murder my heart
you tried to murder my heart

pub. N.Y.M./Cherry Music (ASCAP), admin. by Warner Bros., Warner-Tamerlane Publishing Corp./Cherry Blossom Music / Checkerman Music (BMI)

AGAIN
(Tonio K./John Keller/Barry Goldberg)

somebody cash me in
i never saw myself as a loser
but i've lost again
just let the end begin
i guess everybody loses here
nobody wins

i had refused to believe in this day
refused to give up on us
and i forgot this particular pain
but i remember it now
as i pick myself up

here it comes again
i remember this feeling
remember this feeling
here it comes again
when your heart is breakin'
and your body's achin' again

i would have changed the world
i would have done anything
to make up for the mistakes we made
but now the smoke cloud curls
up from the ashes and embers
of love that never found a place

she never could believe that i cared
she couldn't feel it or see it plain
and a diamond imperfect but rare
she held it up to the light
and threw it away

so here it comes again
i remember this feeling
remember this feeling
here it comes again
when your heart is bleedin'
and your mind is reelin' again

oh, i once heard somebody say
that love is all you need
well i believed it then
i still believe it now
but i don't know how it works
or exactly what that means

here it comes again
i remember this feeling...

pub. N.Y.M./Cherry Music (ASCAP), admin. by Warner Bros., Checkerman Music / Careers-BMG Music Publishing (BMI) / Barry Goldberg Music (BMI)

I'M HERE
(Tonio K./John Keller/Barry Goldberg)

when you're tumbling down the face of the wave
stumblin' down the street in the rain
i'm here
i'll catch you when you're ready to fall
i know you've got to go your own way
speak to the world in your own language
but when you're ready to talk
you can walk through my door.

you don't have to take it from me
go on and see whatever you see
i'm here
i'll wait for you to figure it out
'cause baby i believe in love
so when you've finally had enough
you don't have to call
you just walk through my door

i'm here—baby, don't you worry
i'm here—i'm not in any hurry
i'm here—i'll wait for you to change your mind

i don't know why it's always so tough
maybe the devil himself is opposed to love
but i'm here
prayin' he don't fake you out
baby we all make mistakes
so however long it takes
is how long i'm gonna wait
you don't even have to knock
you just walk through that door...

i'm here

pub. N.Y.M./Cherry Music (ASCAP), admin. by Warner Bros., Checkerman Music / Careers-BMG Music Publishing (BMI) / Barry Goldberg Music (BMI)

PRACTICALLY INVISIBLE (TALES OF MODERN PSYCHOSIS)
(Tonio K./Charlie Sexton/Don Harvey)

standing on the corner
clutching my st. christopher
to keep from disappearing
but i'm practically invisible

and i close my eyes
i don't hear a sound
i don't speak a word
and i don't look down

cars and people pass me by
so many smiling faces
that hide away their desperate lives
we all take our chances
and take our places.

then i close my eyes
i don't hear a sound
i don't speak my mind
and i don't look down

and i realize
i'm still on the ground
and i'm still alive
but i don't look down

and the days go by
i don't make a sound
i sink into the silence
but i don't look down
i'm lost in time
hoping to be found
like some frightened child
i don't look down
and you're just like me
scared of what's coming around
i'm just like you
i just don't look down

pub. N.Y.M./Cherry Music (ASCAP), admin. by Warner Bros., Sextunes (ASCAP), admin. by Sony Music, Big Cloud Music (ASCAP)

DANGEROUS MACHINE
(Tonio K./Charlie Sexton)

there were six black cadillacs
rolling through the night without a sound
headed for the walled estate
on a hill, overlooking shantytown
somebody riding shotgun
someone watching carefully
with a briefcase full of sorrow
on its way to you and me

it's a world of trouble
it's an old routine
it's a world of trouble
it's a dangerous machine

there were six saints kneeling
in a bombed-out church with no roof
when it all came down
somehow they were bulletproof
six saints kneeling
in a hurricane
in a world on fire
in a burning rain

it's a world of trouble
it's an old routine
it's a world of trouble
it's a dangerous machine

pub. N.Y.M./Cherry Music (ASCAP), admin. by Warner Bros., Sextunes (ASCAP), admin. by Sony Music

NOTHING MYSTERIOUS
(Tonio K./Charlie Sexton)

well i came home for christmas
but i was too late
all the presents were opened
only bones on the plate
now you've heard about christmas
and the month of december
it can get so depressing
but you've got to remember

when the rain hits down
like a hammer
when the cold wind rips through your life
just like a dagger
when your car won't start
and the bus won't stop
and you're stranded on blue avenue
it's nothing mysterious
it's nothing new

she came out from missouri
to the land of fast cars
looking for validation
auditioning for parts
she paid with her beauty
her innocence slain
she took it so hard
until someone explained

when the rain hits down
like a hammer
when the cold wind rips through your life
just like a dagger
when they break your heart,
and they take you apart
leave you lying on blue avenue
well it's not like these things
only happen to you
it's just traditional misery
we all go through

you're not alone
you should have known
it's nothing mysterious
it's nothing new

so we stumble our way
into the new year
with the usual confusion,
but one thing is clear
it's all laughter and sadness
and it's all televised
it just is what it is
but it ain't no surprise

when the rain hits down
like a hammer
when the cold wind rips through your life
just like a dagger
when they break your heart,
and they take you apart
leave you lying on blue avenue
well it's nothing mysterious
it's nothing new

pub. N.Y.M./Cherry Music (ASCAP), admin. by Warner Bros., Sextunes (ASCAP), admin. by Sony Music

LIFE'S JUST HARD
(Tonio K.)

nobody ever said
that life was gonna be easy
but no one ever told me about this
sometimes i just hate it

well you wake up in the morning
and you go to work or school
or you lay around all day waiting
cause you ain't got nothing to do
from the man behind the counter
to the man out on the street
from the kings and the queens
down to you and me
almost everyone agrees:

life's just hard
no matter who you are
no matter who you think you are
it's a fiery ordeal
you play your cards
and you say a prayer
and you look for love
if you're lucky you find it there
cause live is where it starts
but it's just hard

i've got friends that live in mansions
i've got friends that drive a truck
i've got friends that feed the hungry
i've got friends that have wasted a million bucks
i know people with a family
i know people that's divorced
we're all looking for the same thing
we're all running the very same obstacle course

life’s just hard...

love isn't all there is
but it's still everything
without it
nothing else will work
without it
we die trying
to invent a substitute
we'll do anything
say anything
be anything
believe anything

life's just hard...

pub. N.Y.M./ Unicity Music (ASCAP), admin. by MCA

STUDENT INTERVIEW (WITH THE THIRD RICHEST MAN IN THE WORLD)
(Tonio K.)

he was sitting there eating
three hundred pounds of pure greed
he motioned to join him
said, "i can talk while i eat"
i hit the recorder and thanked him
for taking his time
he said, "do your interview, son,
'cause time is money and it's your dime."

i said, "i'm a second-year student
economics and political sci.
and we thought the third richest man in the world
could sure give us some brilliant, secret advice."
he stopped chewing
stared at me
and then he grinned
and then he started chewing again

he said, "i'm a business man
i've got this little business i run
i can make more money by dialing that phone
than i could if i pulled out a gun
this is america, son
you just let the buyer beware
that's my only philosophy, boy
you can sell 'em whatever you want to
who cares?

i'll tell you
money, money, money
that's my thing
money, money, money, money
don't it have a nice ring?"

he said, "i've got fifty dollars
says nobody here's got a clue
i've got a hundred dollars
says nobody knows what they're doing
i've got a thousand dollars
says i can just take what i like
i've got millions of dollars
say you make enough noise
people won't even put up a fight
for instance you take that mountain
now, what a resort that would make
we'll get rid of those trees
put up some condos, a spa, and a video arcade
you remember the desert
now wasn't that weather a bitch?
we just brought in a river,
planted golf courses, sat back and got rich

i'll tell you
money, money, money
that's my thing
money, money, money, money
don't it have a nice ring?"

he said, "look at these women,
don't these women look fine?
these are america women, son,
the finest women that money can buy
look at that car there,
look at that color of red (that's ferrari red)
boy, with a car like that,
these women practically fall into bed

i'll tell you
money, money, money
that's my thing
money, money, money, money
don't it have a nice ring?"
i'll tell you
money, money, money
come on boy, sing,
money, money, money, money, money
it's a beautiful thing..."

pub. N.Y.M./ Unicity Music (ASCAP), admin. by MCA

SURE AS GRAVITY
(Tonio K./Malcolm Burn)

there's a time for living in the wind
there's a time for running from your sorrow
and a time your flight from time must end
yesterday surrender to tomorrow
though your heart may fear the future
may have lost the will to love
you can never quite escape it
there's no place to run that's far enough

like a river, it will fall until it's free
like a river, from the mountain tops
always searching for the sea
love will find you
it's as sure as gravity

i have felt the pain of cold rejection
i have felt the shame of my own pride
and i can tell you've sworn to never go back
to that place your spirit nearly died
let me be the one exception
let me show you love that's true
let me hold you 'til the shadow passes
love is patient; let me wait for you

like a river, it will fall until it's free
like a river, from the mountain tops
it has searched for you and me
love is faithful; it's as sure as gravity
love is patient; it's as sure as gravity
love will find us, just as sure as gravity

pub. N.Y.M./ Cherry Music (ASCAP), admin. by Warner Bros., Kneeha Music (ASCAP)

HOME TO YOU
(Tonio K./John Keller)

seems like this road must go on
for a thousand miles
this country's so big
sometimes all you can do is smile
feels like i must have been gone
for a long long while
but i've finally found my way home
like a little child

home to you—to the place i was meant to be
back to the one heart i've known
that was always true
home to you—to the love that still waits for me
every road i go down leads me back home to you

sometimes i think i was born
in the wrong century
searching for someplace i know
but i've never seen
guess i'm a dreamer
except i don't know the dream
till i remember the one love that waits for me (and go)

home to you—to the face i will always see
home to the arms of the one
i have always loved
home to you—to the place i still want to be
every road i go down leads back home to you

and someday you'll go with me
i will carry you away
or else i'll just stay...

home to you—wherever you are is where i'll be
we'll be together forever eventually
home to you—to the place i was meant to be
every road i go down leads back home to you
yes, every road i go down
leads me back home to you

pub. N.Y.M./Cherry Music (ASCAP), admin. by Warner Bros., Checkerman Music (BMI), admin. by Irving Music (BMI)

I'VE GOT A SONG ANYWAY
(Tonio K./John Keller)

well, i'm walkin' down this road
with a smile on my face
although it's hard to explain
in this world full of sorrow
and trouble and tears
i've got a song anyway...

i've been up and down this road
from the west to the south
traveled by night and by day
i've been lost and alone
i've been loved, i've been found
but i've got a song for today

i've got a song to sing on my way
i've got a smile for the world for today
everything's wrong, but that's okay
i've got a song anyway

now maybe i've gone crazy
or simple or soft
maybe i've stumbled in some faith
but as long as i've got you
there's no bridge i can't cross
you are the music that plays

i've got a song to sing on my way
i'm not afraid of the future for today
nothing is easy, but that's okay
i've got a song anyway

[bonus verse...left out of song for some reason]
i'm walkin' down the road
as the light starts to fade
feels like the end of the world
but the world is always ending
it comes back with the day
chases the darkness away

pub. N.Y.M./Cherry Music (ASCAP), admin. by Warner Bros., Checkerman Music (BMI), admin. by Irving Music (BMI)