Hello Sir—

I am Vlad Theimpaler. I am new to this United States
and am enjoying very much the modern Pasta dinners of
the Western Capitalist cusine. Is very good—Bravo for you, U.S.A.

But here is the problems: I am buying this
American Beauty® rotella pastas for special Saturday nite
dinings. While old ball and chains (wife) is cutting off
the vegetables, Vlad is helping with putting American
Beauty® noodles into the boiling waters for cooking of 13–15
minutes depending upon my preferings. But wait!

Suddenly into waters is coming from box large
non-pasta plastic device. Vlad is frightened of death.
Vlad is nearly taking the wife & flee from kitchen in case
is plastic explosive from Arabs or K.G.B. But no!!

This is not bomb!!! This is chocolate!!!! Yes.
This is SKOR® chocolate bars being put with pastas!?
What-is-wrong-with-you?!? No one can eat
chocolate pastas—even in the Los Angeles (I am
saying this to myself)! But then I am discovering
it: This American Beautiful® rotellas are manufacture
of Hearshy Candy Co!! No wonder!!!

Shame at you uncle Hearshy for trying to trick
pasta eaters of free world into chocolate this way. This
is bad business. This is maybe even bad health hazard.
What about peoples with the bad complection? What about
poor fat peoples trying to keep from candy?? What about peoples
with sugar dianetics!?!